2013 Update


Hey everyone!

I hope 2013 is getting off to a great start for all of you. For me at least, it’s a lot better than how the year ended.

As you may have noticed, I’ve been absent from here, and my writing blog, since mid-November. A lot of personal stuff has gone down, and I’ve done some soul searching since then.  But with some help and guidance, I feel like things are back on track, and I’m positive 2013 is going to be great.

I don’t want to get too deeply into what went on last year, as it’s in the past and not worth dwelling over. But, a combination of severe behavioural problems with Oldest, an argument with my mum, a change in financial circumstances and overworking myself by taking on too much writing/ blogging wise, left me feeling overwhelmed and like I was drowning.

Thankfully, Hubby was a rock for me and even though he has his own issues (he has Bipolar), and was able to offer me the support I needed, that in turn allowed me to seek help. I spent a good few weeks losing myself in the game Skyrim and being sucked into another world gave me the time and space I needed for the meds to kick in and for me to process everything that happened. 

In my time away from the computer, I also discovered I love swimming with the kids, and taking them out for walks – we went swimming last weekend, and plan to walk over to the park and lake to feed the ducks this weekend – the physical activity and getting out of the house for a few hours really relieves my stress.

Mum and I finally spoke about our argument, and for the first time in my adult life, I actually felt like she listened to me and respected my boundaries as an adult, rather than still treating me like a child that needs coddling.

Slowly but surely, things with Oldest are improving. We looked at a number of different avenues, including outside help from child services and the GP. Ultimately though, what’s helped is Hubby and I changing our parenting techniques, and all three of us communicating more. For the first time in ages, it’s fun and exciting to spend time with Oldest, without the fear of tantrums hanging over us.

December came, and with it the organising of Christmas, and Youngest’s birthday. It also happened that Hubby pulled his back, and lost mobility for a while, so I had to do a bunch of the Christmas shopping on my own.

Then there was Youngest’s Birthday, Christmas and New Year’s. We had a lovely time on the 22nd for Youngest’s birthday. We had party food, and cake, and balloons and the little guy had presents (this Batman playset from us, and this Spacehopper from Hubby’s brother). A lovely time was had by all. Then, on the night of the 23rd and early morning of Christmas Eve, Youngest came down with a stomach bug. Because I’d been up with him all night, and was grumpy, we decided to have Christmas early – we already had plans to have Christmas dinner on Christmas Day at my mum’s, so we’d bought the things to have roast beef on Christmas Eve – and opened presents. Again, a lovely time was had by all, even Youngest who couldn’t eat. Hubby and I got each other Nexus 7 Tablets, for Oldest we got a Nintendo 3DS with the new Pokemon game, and for Youngest we got a Vtech InnoTab 2 – so we spent all day playing on our new toys.

Then I came down with the sick that night. We had to cancel going to mum’s, though she still came and collected Oldest so he wouldn’t miss out, and so he wouldn’t get ill either. I spent all of Christmas day laying on the couch, not being able to keep anything down, sleeping and being a little delirious from dehydration. By the night of Christmas Day, Hubby was coming down with it too. We spent then next few days Oldest-less, and in different stages of sick and recovering. By the end of the week, we were able to eat light things, like plain rice or mashed potatoes. Youngest was the only one taking longer to recover, and was still being sick sometimes. We were all better by New Year’s Eve, and spent the day together watching movies and eating good snacks, like roast beef sandwiches and cheese and pickled onions.

The first week of the New Year was a quiet, but enjoyable one. Hubby, seeing the fun Oldest and I were having on our Pokemon games, got his own copy, so we’ve all been geeking out trading Pokemon and battling. Today, and new Pokemon game for October 2013 was announced, and Hubby and I were going wild over it – we can’t wait to show Oldest the trailer when he gets home from school. I finished off the week by taking the boys swimming.

Oldest is back in school today, and hopefully his regular teacher is returning. For half of the term last year, he had a substitute teacher, due to his class teacher having some unexpected, tragic personal  circumstances. She was at school for the last day of term though, and looked well all things considered. I don’t know how she managed it – much respect to her.

Youngest, last I heard, is due to start nursery school from 9am-12pm at the end of January. I’m expecting a confirmation letter, and appointments for home visit and stay and play visit in the next few weeks. 

Now that I’m feeling like myself again, I’ll be around a lot more, and I’d like to take this chance to thank the people who nudged me while I was away. Karen, Kim, Christine and Jaybird, your messages checking up on me, reminding me you’re here and that you loved me, really helped me through some tough times. Thank you. <3

During all the craziness in the build up to Christmas, Hubby also had his first article for his tech reviewer position on the Independent site published. I’m so incredibly proud of him for this, and it’s great to see that all the hard work he’s put in over the last 12+ months is paying off.

Things are calming down now, Hubby and I are both getting back into the swing of “working”. I’m contemplating a new direction with my writing, which I’ll speak about shortly on my writing blog. We’re now looking forwards to the future, Oldest 10th birthday in February, followed by mine and Hubby’s 30ths a few weeks later, and our third wedding anniversary in April (making eleven years together in total).

Again, I’m not making New Year’s resolutions for a number of reasons, but there are some goals I’ve set myself. I want to lose some weight, eat more healthily, and start being more active. I’m actually considering doing the Couch to 5K walking/ jogging/ running programme.

And that’s everything! I will try to post more frequently (famous last words) and hopefully I’ll be back on Sunday with some pictures of our trip to feed the ducks.

I hope everyone reading had a wonderful Christmas and New Year’s, and I’d love to hear all about it. 

Laters, Taters!
Crossposted to my LiveJournal The Life and Loves of wandaXmaximoff
Location: West Midlands, UK
Music: The Man Who Sold the World – David Bowie
Mood: Hungry


  1. Wow, you've had a lot happen in less than two months! Glad things are better with your mom and your oldest. And YOU. Yes, sometimes we just need to get out and experience life, even the simple things, to bring focus back to our own.
    Glad you are back though, Clare.

    1. Thank you, Alex! It's good to be back.

      Yes, a lot kind of collided all together, and then coupled with Christmas and sickness, the end of the year was somewhat crazy. But you come through these things stronger than ever. :D

      Yes, one of the important things I've learned is getting out there, living and experiencing things. As you said, even the simple things can help you refocus.

  2. Wow, that's a lot! Glad to hear things are going better now, getting smoothed out. Hopefully 2013 will be only filled with wonderful! :)

    1. Yeah, everything did seem to come at once. Thanks for the well wishes, and I hope 2013 is wonderful for you, too.

  3. Whoa! So much, but I'm very happy things are working out and calming down. Swimming is a fabulous way for everyone to work off that extra energy and stress. My hubby talked about the couch to 5k challenge too. One step at a time. And yay! You're back blogging. :)

    1. Yeah, it did seem like all the dram happened at once - I hope that's a sign this year will be calmer.
      Before October, I hadn't been swimming since my teens, I forgot how much I love it.
      The couch to 5k idea seems great, as it builds up slowly; I think day one is like walking for 3 minutes, jogging for 2 and then walking again for another 3. I can do that!
      And yay, glad to be back! :D

  4. Sheesh, that's a lot to deal with in a short space of time! No wonder you've been kinda absent from the blogosphere! But I'm glad things are settling down for you and your family in the new year :)

    1. It was a lot all at once, it totally wiped me. But a good long break has done me wonders, and I'm raring to go again. Thanks for the best wishes, I hope you and your new husband have a wonderful 2013. :D

  5. Aw- thanks Clare. I really am so happy to see you back here blogging/writing again. But what a time you've had!

    I always tell people that being a parent is the most humbling thing I have ever done in my life. I have three kids and three different methods of parenting because of how different they are! It's crazy. It's so hard to know what's the right thing sometimes. Wishing you all the best with working out the issues with the oldest; know that you and your family will be in my prayers.

    So sorry to hear about the stomach bug! We have suffered from it's wrath over here too. As a matter of fact, on Christmas 2011, I made a ten pound ham but by the time it came out of the oven, no one could eat it = miserable.

    Hope all is patched up and heading back in the right direction with your mum. Thank Goodness for the husband and his ability to help you through all that turmoil.

    Let's hope all of the crazy is behind you now, and nothing but peace and blessings await in 2013! xo

    1. I'm so happy to be back, and it's comments like yours - or when you checked up on me before Christmas - that has made me want to come back. I've missed you.

      Thank you for the prayers and encouragement. You're right on all account, parenting is very humbling and every child is different. I feel blessed though to have so much support, both online and in real life, and that things are getting back on track.

      Oh man, missing out on ham would suck! I think everyone has at least one miserable Christmas.

      Yes, things are better than ever with my mum. And thank goodness for my hubby indeed, he has been amazing throughout.

      Thank you again, and I hope the same for you, nothing but peace and blessings for 2013.XO

  6. Happy New Year! It's great that the world didn't end. Sounds like you've been very busy.

    1. Happy New Year to you too, Mary! :D


Thanks for reading and commenting. Your thoughts are always appreciated. ^_^